Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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