Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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