just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
