ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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