i barfeds in our rink
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
