How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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