She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
