Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
