This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
