I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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