And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
