I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
