Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
