so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
