Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I want to stick my p in your. b.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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