Bisexual people are plain selfish.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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