john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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