Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
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