We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
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At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
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I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
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