South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
