my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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