The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Randomize
