Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.