Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I think people are normalizing furries
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
