I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
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