But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.