speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?