did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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