can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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