wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
