Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
