doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
