Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
my phone needs a breathalizer
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
