i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
