I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Randomize
