Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
