And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize