i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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