On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
