It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
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