craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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