I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
