This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Randomize
