You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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