i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
