This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
