Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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