I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
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