we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
