I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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