What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
