i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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