I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
