There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
