I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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