3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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