They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
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