Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
