you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no