you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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