Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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