I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize