I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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