It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
