i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Randomize
