babies were throwing up all over the place
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
the gays at disneyland are vicious
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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