Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
