Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Randomize